Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize