i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
