i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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