Soap is not a condiment
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
