Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
