You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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