I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Randomize