ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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