smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
