its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
