Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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