you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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