Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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