Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
