Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
