I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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