i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i out mim tonsoeep
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
