I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
honey bunches of taint.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just pee around me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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