paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
