If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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