if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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