i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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