how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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