This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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