You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
