a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
