Umm I'm too high to move.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
