I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
