My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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