Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
