What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
