You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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