i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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