I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
