What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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