Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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