laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im calling her cock vulture from now on
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
