New invention idea: vibrating tampons
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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