absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
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That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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