I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
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Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
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my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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