You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize