you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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