last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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