You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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