she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize