I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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