I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So many bounce houses so little time
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.