brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
