i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
