my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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