I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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