Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
