We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
