i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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