You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize