It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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