I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
