Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's rum buckets o'clock
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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