I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
